Several times in the Bible God is described as:

“Punishing the children for the sin of the parents to the third and fourth generation”

(Exodus 20:5; Exodus 34:7; Numbers 14:18; Deuteronomy 5:9)  

We may be comfortable in acknowledging that the actions of one generation impacts future generations, but how is it fair that God punishes children for the crimes of their parents?

First it should be noted that this is not about making children suffer.  The term ‘children’ does not refer to infants but to descendants e.g. at that age of 40 Isaac is still described as one of Abraham’s children.  Secondly, this verse isn’t describing God punishing the innocent for what their parents did, as the passage in Numbers 14 demonstrates.  In Numbers 14 Moses appeals to this aspect of God’s character following a large-scale rebellion.  The result is not that the children are punished, the guilty party faces judgement, but God does not bring judgement immediately.  The application of this phrase demonstrates that it is not about punishing the innocent.  So, what does it mean? 

In Exodus 34, “punishing the children…” is paired and mirrored with another statement:

‘The LORD, the LORD, the compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness, ⁷ maintaining love to thousands, and forgiving wickedness, rebellion and sin. Yet he does not leave the guilty unpunished; he punishes the children and their children for the sin of the parents to the third and fourth generation.’ (Exodus 34:6-7)

“Punishing the children” comes as part of the statement that God does not let the guilty get away scot-free, it unpacks what it means that God is ‘slow to anger’.  Because God is slow to anger it might look to the naked eye that He doesn’t care about evil.  The phrase “punishing the children” is God’s guarantee that He will not let wicked regimes continue indefinitely.  It may continue for several generations but God will bring justice in the end.  We shouldn’t mistake God’s patience with ambivalence or agreement.  But why is God patient?  Why doesn’t He just do something about evil immediately?  Psalm 130:3 puts it like this:

If you, LORD, kept a record of sins,
    Lord, who could stand?

The reality is that none of us are ready for God’s justice.  We’ve all thrown our lot in with destructive powers that are opposed to God’s life-giving rule.  The patience of God is intended to lead us to repentance, to turn back to Him.   God is all for justice, but He doesn’t desire us to be swept away in a tide of judgement.  That is why Jesus died, the righteous for the unrighteous, the innocent for the guilty in order to bring us back to God.  Does God punish the innocent for the crimes of the guilty? Well in a way He does, by bearing our guilt and punishment Himself so that we might be ready for the day when He brings an end to all evil and suffering in this world.